


this group chat sucks // nu'venteen group chat au

by dal_segno



Category: NU'EST, SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: 18 bois in a gc what could possibly go wrong, Collaboration AU, M/M, NSFW, Nuventeen are finally together it took me this long to make a fic, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Swearing, Texting, group chat au, hss sucks for not giving us nu'venteen, maybe idk ill add them if i want
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:28:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23245549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dal_segno/pseuds/dal_segno
Summary: cul_de_kwak:aight then that's goodalso did u guys hear ab the rumours tht nuest and svt will collab?seungkwansekshi:wait wtf really yeet i can be w donghori_jeong_hyeok:it's tru i can affirm jihoon told mepickyjr:it's true lmfao we discussed it with hssonly_smart_child:i dont think either of you should have told usprince_arson:wait we're collabing again!?23billion_yoonjeonghan:yall screwed by our producers, bumzu and hss-what if pledis’ biggest boygroups collab again?ships:minhyun x aron x renjun x the8joshua x jeonghanjr x s.coupsbaekho x woozi x seungkwan
Relationships: Choi Minki | Ren/Hwang Minhyun/Aaron Kwak | Aron, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Kim Jonghyun | JR, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Kang Dongho | Baekho/ Boo Seungkwan/ Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	1. this isnt pg at all what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [note: this fic is abandoned until further notice. i won't be orphaning it but i won't update either.]
> 
> nuventeen au bc im vv bored hi

** -PLEDIS KIDZZZ  ** 👁👄👁 ** - **

  
cul_de_kwak added **edgeofcmg** , **pickyjr** , **def_not_kdh_uwu** , **emperorswagz**  
cul_de_kwak added **ri_jeong_hyeok** , **producer69420** , **chewbacca_hfhdj** , **seungkwansekshi** , **left_handed_mingu** , **prince_arson**

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
omfg why are there so many of you i hate this  
minki i'll kill you

cul_de_kwak added **j_j_oshu_j1** , **im_a_tigrrr** , **only_smart_child** , **sirdk** , **rawrbabie** , **23billion_yoonjeonghan, kermittingtreason**

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
are all 18 of us here? i hope no one got left out

 ** _j_j_oshu_ji:_**  
oh hey is this the nuventeen gc minhyun told us ab?

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
i didnt think that aron would make it today lmfao

 ** _sirdk:_**  
dongho-hyung!

 ** _pickyjr:_**  
lets introduce ourselves lmao

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
lets introduce ourselves!  
wait you said the same thing i did jonghyun thats r00d

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
ok yall say your names bc we all have weird @ s  
im aron kwak aka the oldest here  
y'all?

 ** _pickyjr:_**  
jonghyun kim! leader of nu'est and mains everything but singing and that weird bird in smash bros

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu_** :  
kang dongho lmao and rn im busy with bumzu-hyung so hold on ill disappear for a bit :/

 ** _emperorswagz_** :  
minhyun hwang here! and ps how'd yall find our secret accs?

 ** _edgeofcmg_** :  
im minki choi and i told aron all of your accs  
i know everything

 ** _emperorswagz_** :  
😬😬😬 except how to cook

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok_** _:_  
seungcheol choi here to stop you guys from tearing each other's heads off  
leader of seventeen aka dad of 12 children in adult bodies

 ** _23billion_yoonjeonghan_** :  
jeonghan yoon aka the visual of svt

 ** _left_handed_mingu_** :  
nooOoOoOooOooOoO thats me 😭😭😭  
im mingyu kim!!! dont steal my name!!

 ** _j_j_oshu_j1_** :  
jisoo hong or joshua 😎😎😎

 ** _prince_arson_** :  
junhui wen!!! 👀

 ** _only_smart_child_** :  
wonwoo jeon  
@/producer69420 youre next

 ** _producer69420_** :  
jihoon lee  
busy rn w bumzu dont fucking disturb me

 ** _kermittingtreason_** :  
minghao xu 🐸

 ** _im_a_tigrrr_** :  
i forgot to answer owo  
soonyoung kwon rawr

 ** _kermittingtreason_** :  
soonyoung stfu youre not a tiger

 ** _sirdk_** :  
seokmin lee! 👑

 ** _seungkwansekshi_** :  
seungkwan boo! vvvv seskshi seungkwan

 ** _chewbacca_hfhdj_** _:_  
hansol chwe/ choi or vernonie  
also yes seungkwan sexi

 ** _rawrbabie_** :  
chan lee!!!! hiiiii nu'est hyungs!!

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
aight then that's good

also did u guys hear ab the rumours tht nuest and svt will collab?

 ** _seungkwansekshi_** :  
wait wtf really yeet i can be w dongho

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
it's tru i can affirm jihoon told me

 ** _pickyjr:_**  
it's true lmfao we discussed it with hss

 ** _only_smart_child_** :  
i dont think either of you should have told us

 ** _prince_arson_** :  
wait we're collabing again!?

 ** _23billion_yoonjeonghan_** :  
yall screwed by our producers, bumzu and hss

 ** _sirdk_** :  
wait @/pickyjr @/ri_jeong_hyeok when are we collabing?

 ** _im_a_tigrr_** :  
we haven't even released heaven yet? and we didnt have minhyun's voice recorded in it either

 ** _chewbacca_ hfhdj_** _:_  
hyungs are we gonna have a nuventeen comeback?

 ** _rawrbabie_** :  
yes! hopefully!

 ** _j_j_oshu_j1_** :  
let's hope plsdie will let us have promos abroad or at least more promos this time?

 ** _producer69420_** :  
yes we will have a nuventeen cb and yes it's a collab album

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
you guys better not let anyone else know bc bumzu's gonna kill us

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
is it just gonna be a collab single? i heard jju say that it might just be like a full album??

 ** _23billion_yoonjeonghan_** :  
maybe   
hope it is lmao i get bored with these kids so i hope i get to chill with you guys

 ** _prince_arson_** :  
you're mean jeonghannie 🥺

 ** _chewbacca_hfhdj_** _:_  
cool oof so wouldn't it be at least 5 song bcjdjdj

 ** _kermittingtreason_** :  
why dont yall ask @/producer69420 and @/def_not_kdh_uwu if yall so desperate

 ** _rawrbabie_** :  
where's uji hyung and baek hyung?  
oh? jr hyung hasnt been reading our messages so far  
yeah cheol-hyung too

 ** _im_a_tigrr_** :  
jihoon lee, im a tiger raaaaah

 ** _producer69420_** :  
omfg soonyoung you're not!!

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
bumzu hyung called us and asked us for stuff ab the collab

 ** _pickyjr_** :  
if dongho and jihoon can work together and not kill each other in the process

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
tell that to jihoon hes been suggesting this impractical concept wtf

 ** _seungkwansekshi_** :  
wasnt jr saying something dongho?

 ** _pickyjr_** :  
as i was saying, if leader and producer lines will cooperate, we'll be able to have the collab cb around 5 months from now or smn

 ** _sirdk_** :  
woooooOOoOooOooOOoOo

 ** _edgeofcmg_** :  
finally,,,, we have jobs,,,,,

 ** _emperorswagz_** :  
dya think we'll be able to see more nuventeen fics after that?

 ** _cul_de_kwak_** :  
no one interact with minhyun too much or ill poison your food

 ** _only_smart_child:_**  
👀👀👀

 ** _left_handed_mingu_** _:_  
chill hyung  
dw woozi hyung'll do that if you

 ** _producer69420_** :  
god yall type so slowly  
dongho told bumzu ab yall what a fucking snitch

 ** _seungkwansekshi_** :  
marry me already dongho!!!!!!!  
ILL BE YOUR ONE-UP GIRL  
S O M E O N E tell uji to stop kicking me!!!!!

 ** _j_j_oshu_j1_** :  
hahaha mood  
also no swaerinh inmy cristian server

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
josh what's with the tupos lolol  
i hate it in here 😭😭😭😭😭

 ** _23billion_yoonjeonghan_** :  
lmao jisoo's getting his dick in a twist

 ** _kermittingtreason_** :  
god pls dont flirt here

 ** _prince_arson:_**  
pLEASE DONT TALK AB YOUR DICKS HERE

 ** _chewbacca_hfhdj_** _:_  
chan close the chat rn  
seok you too

 ** _im_a_tigrr:_**  
alright i horanghae all of you

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
nuest hyungs we're sorry

 ** _edgeofcmg_** :  
dont be i mean aron's are worse i promise he literally flirts with minhyun and me all the time 😒😒🙄🙄

 ** _rawrbabie_** :  
???????

 ** _emperorswagz_** :  
please dont ask ☺️☺️☺️

 ** _sirdk_** :  
dont tell me,,, 😳

 ** _seungkwansekshi_** :  
ill complete that statement on behalf of our sunshine boi  
he asks if aron hyung and minhyun hyung f u c k e d already

 ** _left_handed_mingu:_**  
god wasnt this a g-rated gc 😩

 ** _producer69420_** :  
let's end it here

 ** _23billion_yoonjeonghan:_**  
good idea

 ** _im_a_tigrr:_**  
see you all in the meeting room tomorrow!

* * *

  
** -DIRECT MESSAGING- **

**_producer69420_** :  
dongho's mine asshole

 **seungkwansekshi** :  
i proposed first and he clearly loves me dumbass

 **producer69420** :  
dont get your readings messed up

 ** _seungkwansekshi_** :  
nu uh dude  
just bc youre a producer too doesnt me he likes u  
i mean the sexual tension is smn else but

 ** _producer69420_** :   
you just admitted it yourself wtf  
u sure he's not with aron hyung or jonghyun hyung?

 ** _seungkwansekshi_** :  
he might have a thing for jonghyun hyung but def not aron  
aron and minhyun are fuck buddies probably

 ** _producer69420_** :  
I thought aron and minki hyung were fuck buddies????  
the t e n s i o n seungkwan  
you cant tell me they dont give each other blowjobs occasionally

 ** _seungkwansekshi_** :  
how ab them having threesomes??  
i mean i saw minki hyung some time with a hicky and the bite seemed too small for dongho and pretty sure minhyun hyung had the same one as him

 ** _producer69420_** :  
why do you know this :/  
i mean ig we have those three outta the way  
but jonghyun tho

 ** _seungkwansekshi_** :  
nah he's whipped for coups  
they always had smn goin on since predebut  
remember their debut mv? didnt u see it???

 ** _producer69420_** :  
def dude i was there wtf  
when he shoved cheol their faces literally went

 ** _seungkwansekshi_** :  
👀👀 so close i was scared they might smooch accidentally

 ** _producer69420_** :  
exactly  
aight back to being w him so stfu we have a lot to discuss

 ** _seungkwansekshi_** :  
dis cos tang

 ** _producer69420_** :  
dont act like you wouldn't slap kang's ass if given the chance -bumzu  
NDJSJKAKW BUMZU NO

 ** _seungkwansekshi_** :   
we-  
im off  
don't you dare jihoon

 ** _producer69420_** :  
gotcha ill take their phones away so i can update u haha -bumzu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive been meaning to start a nuventeen au for a while now but i couldnt write anything so the best thing i could do is write a text au! here are their names with their usernames! asterisks indicate that i'll explain the usernames.
> 
> :NU'EST:  
> cul_de_kwak = aron (kwak aaron)  
> pickyjr = jr (kim jonghyun)  
> def_not_kdh_uwu = baekho (kang dongho)  
> emperorswagz: minhyun (hwang minhyun)  
> edgeofcmg = ren (choi minki)*
> 
> *SEVENTEEN*  
> ri_jeong_hyeok = s.coups (choi seungcheol)*  
> 23billion_yoonjeonghan = jeonghan (yoon jeonghan)*  
> j_j_oshu_j1 = joshua (hong jisoo)  
> prince_arson = jun (wen junhui)*  
> im_a_tigrr = hoshi (kwon soonyoung)  
> only_smart_child = wonwoo (jeon wonwoo)  
> producer69420 = woozi (lee jihoon)  
> kermittingtreason = the8 (xu minghao)*  
> left_handed_mingu = mingyu (kim mingyu)*  
> sirdk = dokyeom/dk (lee seokmin)  
> seungkwansekshi = seungkwan (boo seungkwan)  
> chewbacca_hfhdj = vernon (chwe hansol)  
> rawrbabie = dino (lee chan)
> 
> *ren loves lady gaga so his @ here is from edge of glory (his ig @ irl is glorypath)  
> *s.coups changed his nickname on weverse to ri jeonghyeok, a character from the kdrama crash landing on you (and i love it sm)  
> *jeonghan's @ here was also his nickname on weverse  
> *jun's and the8's usernames are matching bc they would commit c r i m e s together you cant change my mind  
> *mingyu's name is also from weverse


	2. a lot of things happen here dont ask :/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont let this flop pwease

** -DIRECT MESSAGING- **

**_emperorswagz_** :  
aron hyung

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
???

 ** _emperorswagz_** :  
do we have to do uh  
T H A T   
😳😳😳😳😳

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
seriously? ofc we have to  
besides it's not even that hard to do right?  
we're not doing it if you dont do this w me and minki

 ** _emperorswagz_** :  
that's what you promised last time but you still broke it  
aron at least tell me why we have to involve him?  
i dont see the point 😩😩

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
we're doing someone a favour just roll w it  
ok stfu and get out rn

 ** _emperorswagz_** :  
i am outta bed why dont u say that to yourself  
dont we have to meet with svt today?  
the comeback stuff

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
ofc we do  
the manager already called me and jju to tell you guys we have to go now  
are you with minki?

 ** _emperorswagz_** :  
no  
minki doesnt come over to my place  
he either stays home with jju or goes to yours  
not fair ngl

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
min   
manager's here  
so you have 3 minutes to get ready  
dont doll up too much lmao youll be late

 ** _emperorswagz_** :  
i still dont get why we have to play cupid tho

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
manager hyung says come down in a minute  
dude dongho, seungkwan and jihoon arent ever gonna get together if we dont  
it's a simple thank you to dongho who put up with the three of us for years

 ** _emperorswagz_** :  
im down already   
fine then you're so annoying  
scartch that seungkwan's annoying af

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
minki here!  
would ya stop whining minhyun

 ** _emperorswagz_** :  
im literally inside the van why are we still texting i GET it

-

** -PLEDIS KIDZZ  ** 👁👄👁 -

**_im_a_tigrr:_**  
wow that meeting was longer than usual wtf

 ** _prince_arson:_**  
boss really had lots to say :/

 ** _left_handed_mingu:_**  
what kind of concept did he expect us to fish out tho

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
idk ab yall but i wouldve liked that concept

 ** _producer69420:_**  
how are supposed to make a title track from that concept?  
it's impractical

 ** _rawrbabie:_**  
woozi hyung's right tho   
idk much but i dont think we can make a proper choreo from tht

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
alright then oof  
but at least we agree on the new concept right?

 ** _sirdk:_**  
i think the video game concept is good!  
who suggested it uwu  
like the way it could transition between our music styles

 ** _seungkwansekshi:_**  
mhm i especially liked the idea where itd slowly turn creepy   
like i live for that uwuwu

 ** _kermittingtreason:_**  
video games? bubbly pop style that turns into lowkey horror?  
sis im in

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
hao it seems like u werent in the meeting lmao  
u aight

 ** _only_smart_child:_**  
some of the kids are missing from the chat and i just saw them on ig wait  
sol, han, shua, aron, jonghyun and minhyun  
tf yall doing throw the @ s

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
@/cul_de_kwak  
@/ emperorswagz  
i think theyre conspiring against us they keep looking over here lol

 ** _sirdk:_**  
wait they're comin here wot  
hansollie looks like he'll murder me rn

 ** _producer69420:_**  
:/ ab time yall show up  
wth have u been discussing lol

 ** _im_a_tigrr:_**  
theyre literally in front of us and you insist on texting???  
Nuest hyungs how do u deal w minki ouch   
he keeps jumping around even im tired

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
as if we're not constantly exhausted by u

 ** _prince_arson:_**  
wassup hoes

 ** _kermittingtreason:_**  
soonyoung you still owe me $50 for that shirt you bought when you forgot your wallet last week

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
jihoon send me the samples by 5:30 ill see what i can do wuth them bc youwint be inn the studio later right

 ** _producer69420:_**  
is the keyboard that small that you cant type lmao  
yeah yeah we're off to shooting later

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
ooh for gose right?   
nothing can beat the mafia ep  
at least u guys were smart enough

 ** _seungkwansekshi:_**  
for love story didnt you guys get 3 plates of green onions???

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
wait really  
i havent caught up w love story yet 😭

 ** _sirdk:_**  
surely bc u hv aron hyung and jonghyun you guys would be smart

 ** _left_handed_mingu:_**  
ye why did u have 3 plates of onions?  
you were making ramyeon right  
and nO ONE GOT THE JAJJANG SAUCE?!

 ** _im_a_tigrr:_**  
WAIT YOURE GIVING ME SPOILERS I WANTED TO WATCH LOVE STORY PROPERLY YOU GUYS ARE BULLSHIT

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
idfk why they did ok i thought they got all the proper ingredients so i could just get what i wanted 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
STFU WE HAVENT FINISHED LOVESTORY YET HOES

 ** _kermittingtreason_**  
baekho-hyung, ren-hyung , how was gose so far lmfao

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
yall were so funny????????  
the staff wouldn't let us stray off the script yikey  
the playground one was really fun owo

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
hi fellow shits  
wdym the debate one was better the playground one was cute but the debate was h I L A R I O U S E

 ** _prince_arson:_**  
you succ at spewwing hyungie 👉👈😳😳

 ** _left_handed_mingu:_**  
wot in tar nee shun was tat jUnNeE

 ** _im_a_tigrr:_**  
h-hAjImA! 😳😡 yOu mAkE mE jInJjA eM bArRaSsEd o-oPpA 🥶🚫‼️

 ** _producer69420:_**  
please stop for the love of everything that is good

only_smart_child changed the group chat name to **koreaboo shit** 💢

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
flex 😹😹😹😹😹😹😹

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
i hate all of you  
why cant you be normal for A day pl eASE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

pickyjr changed the group chat name to **furry bastards** 🐾

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
at least put a proper emoji jju

 ** _seungkwansekshi:_**  
oH nO 💖💕💗  
💝💞💓 i'M d rOpPinG ❤️🧡🤍  
mY 💖💓💓💘💙 lOvE 💖💖💞❤️💗💜💝 fOr 💙❣️💚💖💗💜

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
ah shit here we go again  
oh no I interrupted seungkwan's moment

 ** _seungkwansekshi:_**  
💝💓💓❤️❣️🤍💗dOnGhO 💖❤️💞💚💓💝💝 aLl 💗💓🤍💘💙💘OVer   
tHe💝❤️💖💖💙💖🧡💓 pLaCe 💖💞💚💞💖❤️💖💝💝  
SEUNGCHEOL

 ** _kermittingtreason:_**  
jr-hyung can u please do smn  
idk but since your his hyung and he loves u a lot maybe   
you can do smn  
oh wait

 ** _j_j_oshu_j1:_**  
you can literally ask baekho-hyung hao

 ** _rawrbabie:_**  
why do you guys always go on and off   
be consistent  
be here or not

pickyjr changed the groupchat name to **oof,,, yall noisy,,,** 😖🥺

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
jju pls dont do tht

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
jju please dont be cute

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
jju we might just do everything you ask for

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
jju istg i might just cry

 ** _prince_arson:_**  
?????????????????????????  
what

 ** _left_handed_mingu:_**  
i dont even know nuest hyungs that well but   
im as scared as them

 ** _23billion_yoonjeonghan:_**  
just came back and wtf is going on  
oh no is jonghyun being cutesy

 ** _chewbacca_hfhdj:_**  
hyungs wats goin on 😶😶😶😶😶

 ** _rawrbabie:_**  
im scared wait what's goin on??!!1!1  
myungho this is your fault

 ** _kermittingtreason:_**  
WHAT DO YOU M E A N IT'S MY FAULTEJJSKSJSJ

pickyjr changed the groupchat name to 🥱🥱🥱🥱🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
jju pls idk where this is going but if you want smn just tell us rn  
ill lend u noah for a week

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
babie! 😍😍😍😍😍😍

 ** _im_a_tigrr:_**  
oh no

 ** _left_handed_mingu:_**  
oh no

 ** _sirdk:_**  
chan pass me the bucket under the table  
dont look at me like that

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
YOU'RE GONNA DO THAT NOW?????!!!!!

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
JONGHYUNNIE U COULDVE PICKED ANY OTHER TIME

 ** _prince_arson:_**  
🤢🤢🤢

 ** _j_j_oshu_j1:_**  
WHAT'S GOINSGGSGSHS ON  
IS HE PROPOSING OR SOME SHUT

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
yes

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
yes

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
yes

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
yes

 ** _23billion_yoonjeonghan:_**  
cant u see omg  
im going feral if i have to witness this sht even on chat

 ** _kermittingtreason:_**  
dokyeom can i share the bucket  
ill let u borrow my manga collection for a week

 ** _sirdk:_**  
fair

 ** _chewbacca_hfhdj:_**  
oh shIiiIiiIIiT bRo they be lookin at each other like   
T H A T   
AIGOO

pickyjr changed the groupchat name to **dearest seungcheollie** 💖💖💖

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
yes my dear?

 ** _j_j_oshu_j1:_**  
im gonna die 💀

 ** _pickyjr:_**  
cheollie,,,,

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

 ** _pickyjr:_**  
i like you a lot so 👉👈  
wanna smash? 🥺🥺🥺

 ** _seungkwansekshi:_**  
💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you got here, good job at least youre fun lmfao


	3. look in the vents

** -DIRECT MESSAGING- **

**_ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
jjuya  
good job lol

 ** _pickyjr:_**  
lmfao yes boi  
cant believe they actually thought i asked u out lol

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
babe u did  
well like 9 yrs ago haha

 ** _pickyjr:_**  
srsly when r we getting married it's been so long  
and i wuv u 🥺🥺🥺

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
idfk when they legalise the gays in kr  
i wuv u too dont worry 🥺🥺  
hey wait youre not responding  
dumbass are u on fortnite again???!!!??  
we agreed on no fortnite on monday,,  
shit it's tuesday wtf since wHEN

 ** _pickyjr:_**  
[rest]

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
EXCOOSE ME BABE NO

 ** _pickyjr:_**  
[siri speech-to-text] Hey SungChol I'm busy so please shut the duck up I call you later when we go to the studio with DongHo later.

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
you text for less than 5 minutes and you go play ur games again!!!!!  
fuck you  
no i mean ily have fun  
how in the world are you so charismatic on stage wtf

-  
 **-jonghyun and cheol stop being gay 2020-**

 ** _im_a_tigrr:_**  
it's been 3 days since we talked here yall

 ** _j_j_oshu_j1:_**  
wait what was thif gc for

 ** _kermittingtreason:_**  
nuventeen  
also what happened to jihoon's studio???

 ** _producer69420:_**  
guckers trashed it and broke a light  
seokmin and seungcheol have pleaded guilty  
i assume u werent part of it hao?

 ** _sirdk:_**  
nah bro he wasnt

 ** _23billion_yoonjeonghan:_**  
11 of us were involved lol  
soonyoung and seungkwan did the most damage lololol

 ** _left_handed_mingu:_**  
hdsjksdksk yeah because they kept ordering drinks and shit

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
omfg my notifs blew up again  
also did jihoon find the culprits haha

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
lmao who suggested it in the first place?  
seungkwan?  
junhui?

 ** _chewbacca_hfhdj:_**  
chan, mingyu and soonyoung suggested it hdhsdhfg  
minghao found out about it first but didnt really stop it

 ** _im_a_tigrr:_**  
sol you dont have to expose me like that what  
jIHOON WAIT

 ** _prince_arson:_**  
oh shit is jihoonie gonna commit homicide now  
goodbye world  
i love you all  
especially minghao  
and only minghao

 ** _seungkwansekshi_** :  
wow if only everyone had a nice boyfriend  
we're all some brand of gay right

 ** _only_smart_child:_**  
what ab it  
and im pretty sure jihoon's going to kill us ahah  
oh no he just went outta the dorms

 ** _rawrbabie:_**  
will jihoon give mercy to me?

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
if hes anything like the jihoon who used to train w us b4 svt  
haha no  
jeonghjan's gonna get a free pass

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
lmfao yeet  
we recommend looking in the vents of your dorms lol

 ** _seungkwansekshi:_**  
wtf!!!!!!!  
wdym!!!

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
hyungs do you wanna explain the shit jihoon used to do when we were in tempo?

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
sure >:3  
back then, jihoon used to have a worse temper than i did

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
and his was BAD BAD  
imagine hoonie's

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
ye and seungcheol used to piss him off a lot for some reason

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
at one point he got so pissed that he stormed out of the practice room and disappeared  
we didnt think much of it until we heard a sound near the ac in the ceiling

 ** _j_j_oshu_j1:_**  
this is scaring me tf out owo

 ** _sirdk:_**  
;;;;;; are we screwed sunbaenim

 ** _kermittingtreason:_**  
hyungs what happened next

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
and so he popped his out of the vents and we all fell down

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
then our manager tried to close off all the vents in the building   
but jihoon somehow opened them hahahah

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
point is, be careful because he's gonna wreck shit.

 ** _producer69420:_**  
in approximately 10 minutes, i will steal everything you love

 ** _23billion_yoonjeonghan:_**  
lmao you guys are so screwed  
and why that long

 ** _left_handed_mingu:_**  
is there anything we can do to not die????

 ** _chewbacca_hfhdj:_**  
goodbye comrades

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
dont tell no porky  
hey jihoon i already confessed on weverse will u be lenient???

 ** _only_smart_child:_**  
cheol p LE AS E stop talking in north korean dialect  
and lee jihoon???? lenient???

 ** _seungkwansekshi:_**  
HAH AS IF  
DONGHO CAN YOU PLEASE HELP US

 ** _def_not_kdh:_**  
dude yknow i love jihoon a lot  
as much as i love you seungkwan  
but at this point you have to suffer

 ** _pickyjr:_**  
is jihoon doing the vents thing

 ** _rawrbabie:_**  
hyung!!?!??! where were you???

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
he was playing animal crossing and i had to scream ab jihoon for him to know

 ** _pickyjr:_**  
jihoon just asked me for the layout of the architecture of that apartment building

 ** _im_a_tigrr:_**  
and how tf did you answer????

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
wHY DO YOU STILL HAVE THE LAYOUT

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
JJU WHY DID YOU EXPOSE US

 ** _chewbacca_hfhdj:_**  
hyungs why do you have a layout of our dorms???

 ** _prince_arson:_**  
what does this mEAN?????

 ** _producer69420:_**  
we were out for a schedule once and nuest scoured around the dorms  
in exchange of no snitching, i asked them to send me the plans so i can make my rounds  
if you heard any weird sounds at night, that was me

 ** _kermittingtreason:_**  
did any of u hear smn from soonyoung's room?  
jihoon wtf

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
have you guys evacuated your important things?

 ** _rawrbabie:_**  
jihoon's in the first dorms so im going out bye

 ** _23billion_yoonjeonghan:_**  
i really look forward to this lol  
ps jihoon says that those who already confessed will get less punishment

 ** _left_handed_mingu:_**  
HOLY SHIRT I HEAR HIM ABOVE MY ROOM BYE  
DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT MESSING UP MTY ROOM JIHOON  
YOULL CLEAN IT

 ** _producer69420:_**  
yeah i wanna make sure i leave no evidence so youll slowly go mad  
bc everything seems to be in place but ill take smn that is vv minor  
but it's sure to fuck you up

 ** _seungkwansekshi:_**  
NUEST SUNBAENIM CAN WE STAY AT YOUR PLACE FOR A WHILE

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
depends bc jju has the keys rn and he doesnt look like he'll stop playing

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
yeah sure but im at aron's  
yall know where i live right

 ** _only_smart_child:_**  
it's ______, ________, room _______  
righT?

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
dm me if youre there so ill tell u teh code

 ** _im_a_tigrr:_**  
jihoon's fEET APPEARED IN MY VENT  
AND HE KICKED ME in the aFACE

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
it could be worse  
seungcheol couldnt stand up once bc jihoon slammed his head into his knees :/

 ** _sirdk:_**  
ARE YOU TELLING ME IT COULD BE WORSE

 ** _chewbacca_hfhdj:_**  
I HEAR JIHOON COMING INTO MY ROOM HOLY F UC K  
HYUNGS??? IM GOING TO MINHYUN'S BYE

 ** _seungkwansekshi:_**  
dongho im coming over

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
im at the studio??? sorry??  
i sent you the location and the password to my flat tho

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
i feel rea;ly bad for yall  
seems like jihoon's already stolen 5 things from each room

 ** _prince_arson:_**  
dude i promis you that ill do what you want just dont take anything PLEASE

 ** _rawrbabie:_**  
wonu, gyu, sol and i are on the way to minhyun's  
rip us but can we stay until we settle everything on weverse???

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
minhyun staying at my place for longer? why not

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
why not just dont mess up my place  
idk where tf yall sleep tho  
dont go into my room feel free to use the 3 guest rooms

 ** _im_a_tigrr:_**  
you have 3 guest roomS????  
and you dont know where theyd stay???  
SHIT JIHOON

 ** _only_smart_child:_**  
omg im gonna die bc i joined yall in dumb shit

 ** _j_j_oshu_j1:_**  
jihoon said he'll spare me bc he owes me smn  
THANK GOD

 ** _pickyjr:_**  
what happened lol  
oh shit i shouldnt hav egiven him the layout

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
OH N O W YOURE SAYING THT

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
we're not getting equal line distribution this comeback

 ** _23billion_yoonjeonghan:_**  
he'd rather give the lines to nuest lol  
read: baekho

 ** _chewbacca_hfhdj:_**  
besides some of the bsides will be mostly nuest's voices   
jihoon says they fit better with slower bpms  
IVE GIVEN HIM POSSIBLE LYRICS FOR TEH SONGS WHAT DOES HE WANT

 ** _def_not_kdh:_**  
jihoon says he's stolen 15 items now  
also kwan are u there yet

 ** _seungkwansekshi:_**  
NO  
IM TAKING THE FUCKING TAXI BUT SEOUL TRAFFIC

 ** _kermittingtreason:_**  
jun's not active  
reckon he's dead?

 ** _pickyjr:_**  
very likely

 ** _left_handed_mingu:_**  
we're nearing minhyun's place bYE

 ** _ri_jeong_hyeok:_**  
stream hinapia's drip

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
stream orange caramel's my copycat

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
stream tvxq's mirotic

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
stream nu'est's love me!!!!!!  
why arent you guys promoting us  
ure part of the group

 ** _pickyjr:_**  
stream nct's kick it

 ** _cul_de_kwak:_**  
stream doja cat's say so

-  
 **-DIRECT MESSAGING-**

 ** _seungkwansekshi:_**  
hyung im here at ur apartment

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
oh aight  
mind cleaning up a bit?  
sorry it's a bit messy

 ** _seungkwansekshi:_**  
np lol  
im just grateful i wont die just yet  
hyung  
what's these papers on the ground?

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
uh  
theyre letters from when i was younger  
pls dont read em

 ** _seungkwansekshi:_**  
alright but i saw jihoon's name there  
do u lik him lololol

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
idk dude  
anyways can u put those away?

 ** _seungkwansekshi:_**  
sure but hyung u can tell me anything right  
jeju bros gotta stick together

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
ik  
maybe not now  
ill tell u when i get home later?

 ** _seungkwansekshi:_**  
if you want ig  
ill clean up your place so tht ull come back to a nice home

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
lol youre the wife i need  
lmao ily

 ** _seungkwansekshi:_**  
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺  
🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰  
😳😳👉👈👉👈

 ** _def_not_kdh_uwu:_**  
lmao i mean it  
see u later? ill be home by 10

 ** _seungkwansekshi:_**  
ure talking like im ur hubby or smn  
im not complaining tho  
you left me on read cmon.

-  
 **-DIRECT MESSAGING-**

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
are u ignoring me?  
🥺

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
whyd u think tht

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
u always talk to arong and u never talk to me hmph

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
nah that's just u and ur constant need for validation  
im kidding i promise  
you know i love you too right?  
i love u and ronnie the same

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺  
also why did you cry at 1am and call me?

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
im so bored of having no schedules that i started to see how well i can act  
ive gotten to the point where i used water to make myself cry  
i was tryna recreate a scene where the girl cries after a breakup

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
so... it became wayyy too itchy and you actually started crying  
and ur first reaction was to call me?

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
well yeah lol

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
im honored but highly concerned  
i hv tea tho 😳😳😳😳

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
wot owo

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
i think kwan and hoon are whipped for baek  
i heard them screaming ab it in the studio when aron and i came over  
to see shua

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
isnt it pretty obvs lol  
but do u think dongho knows

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
idk bro  
i think he likes jihoon  
but aron forced me to play cupid bc kwan asked us to

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
dongho has two hands that go both ways lmfaooooo  
what r they arguing for hdhdjsjjd

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
if those 3 dont get together who do u bet ends up w baek

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
kwan

 **emperorswagz:**  
rlly i think hoon tbh

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
whatev ill join u in getting all t h r e e together

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
Cool lil bro  
aight gtg dongho's calling me

 ** _edgeofcmg:_**  
tell him i need lines

 ** _emperorswagz:_**  
👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is not funny at all but i find the idea of woozi crawling in vents funny


End file.
